Listening to My Head and Heart Amidst the Doubt


After I completed all the preparations for my walk across Spain, I started having doubts. But why?

I had the support of my family. I had checked off all the mental “whys” I wanted to make this trip. It was time for me to listen to my heart to remember why I was choosing to take the pilgrimage on the Camino De Santiago.

When you prepare for an adventure into a new place, you can get caught up in the excitement of the moment. In my preparations, I ordered new boots — having insoles made to fit my foot perfectly —; I made sure I had all my supplies; I made packing room for each piece of gear. I practiced my trek. I suited up with my backpack and plenty of water and hiked the flat river trails along the winding Arkansas River, the incline of Pinnacle Mountain and the rolling hills throughout Little Rock.

The whole time, I was imagining what my walk across Spain would be like. Would my trip be like the travel brochures I’d read and the stories I’d heard? Would I be able to complete the walk? Did my family have everything they needed during my time away? Finally, I had exhausted the mental preparation list playing over and over again.

With my departure date a week away, I needed to find some peace in my decision. I sat myself down and started to notice my breathing. I was barely breathing.

I took a deep breath in to the count of six, and exhaled to the count of six. I did the process again, and then put my hand on my heart and asked myself the question: why am I going on this adventure? Am I crazy?

I waited for my heart to answer. I remembered all the times that I followed my heart and how happy it made me. There was a deep pull for me to take my adventure. Even with all the unknowns, I could feel that I was protected and not alone. I felt deeply at peace that I was doing the right thing for me: following the yearning of my heart.


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